Man, this movie was bad. Even a 15-minute nap around halfway through couldn't help.
I'd been putting off Transformers for a while, figuring I'd catch it eventually. I finally had nothing else to do and took the plunge, and realized why my subconscious had been making me put it off. It knew.
Problems were many in this one, but most annoying, I guess, was that the titular characters were barely in the movie. This is probably because they were not interesting, or even cool looking/functioning, in the least. Also, next to nothing was explained. Probably because things explained were preposterous, so maybe they stopped trying early in the process.
To break it down, this thing was about 65 percent boring, 20 percent just bad, 8 percent really annoying if you were taking it seriously at all, 5 percent "OK I laughed at that joke," and 2 percent hot, blonde Australian super-smart hacker chick (because that happens).
If you like your Transformers movies good, I recommend the original, which I actually took in at the theater back in the day. Or if you like your robot drama mixed with non-LaBeouf humor, this.
Hey, I get to use the "titular" label again. And not even because of Megan Fox (let's see if that drives any traffic. Nah.).
— 1 out of 5 Strokes T-shirts