Bicycles(s)! Bicycles(s)!

Finished up my photos from the 2011 Philly bike race. Check them out over here. Or don't. Free country.

I can only hope Chainsaw Safety Records signs this guy

"Tiny Chainsaw" by rathergood.com, which is a Web site, not a guy. So there goes my headline.

Major Gale

From Sunday's Breaking Bad, Gale Boetticher crushing it on karaoke with "Major Tom (Coming Home)" by Peter Schilling or, if you prefer, Shiny Toy Guns.

In short, Gale rules.

Can't not be feelin' this

I could seriously listen to this all day.

The song is a snippet of "Feel It All Around" by
Washed Out, and while I like it just fine without lyrics on the opening of IFC's Portlandia, it's also quite snazzy with the lyrics.

Bonus review of Portlandia: I thought it looked insufferable in the commercials leading up to it, but I gave it a shot and thought it was pretty funny. A solid B, if I was grading Season 1. So if you avoided it for the same reasons I almost did, give it a shot. The first episode is strong like ox.

Illio logical

Did Spock have a daughter? I don't know. But I do know Phil Noto is a pretty awesome artist. [via Laughing Squid]

Orange On the Aisle: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Perhaps the presence of the word "sleeps" in the title should have been a danger flashing sign.

Then again, as a mega-fan of the Oliver Stone's original Wall Street, no danger flashing signs — even those as strong as the overwhelmingly negative reviews and presence of Shia LeBeouf — were likely to keep me from checking out the return of Gekko.

The problem, or one of many, was the return of Gekko that Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was supposed to be didn't have much Gekko in it.

Maybe Charlie Sheen's Bud Fox got more screen time in Wall Street than Michael Douglas' Gordon Gekko did, but there certainly was a lot more Gekko in the original than in the sequel. And when there was, he wasn't reconnecting with a daughter who blamed him for not being there (because he was in prison, the selfish bastard), which somehow contributed to her brother/his son committing suicide.

Oh yeah, sorry. If you were hoping for the return of the fruit-tossing brat Rudy from the original, no dice. Guess those French lessons didn't pan out.

Douglas was good returning to Gekko, his most iconic film role, but the material he got to work with just didn't come close to matching up. He was barely in this movie though, so it didn't much matter.

The stuff we did get was mostly pretty lame. Josh Brolin is solid as the fill-in Gekko character Bretton James, and when the movie focuses on the back-room financial warring and deal-making, it's entertaining enough at times. But there's just way too little of that and way too much crybaby relationship stuff with LeBeouf, Carey Mulligan, Frank Langella, Susan Sarandon and even Douglas a bit.

And, much like a corrupt CEO's million-dollar bonus (or golden parachute), none of the emotional conflict feels earned in this movie. Most of Money Never Sleeps is just boring as hell.

Stone wants to warn us about an impending economic apocalypse should the cycle of Wall Street chicanery, no federal oversight and huge bailouts continue. And a movie more focused on that might have been better, but this isn't that movie. Sleep on it.

— 1.5 out of 5 giant '80s mobile phones

NOTES:
* Charlie "cocaine suitcase" Sheen makes a cameo as original Wall Street hero Bud Fox, and it is pathetically lame. I, for one, will choose to believe it never happened. Bud Fox deserves better.

* The writer of this post on the trailer was severely bummed after finally seeing the movie. The only good news is I think I have a leftover free OnDemand movie coupon to use, so this one will be on Comcast.

Cool Uniform Props: Oregon carbons

In honor of their playing for the national championship tonight, I dole out some Cool Uniform Props to the Oregon Ducks for their "carbon" uniforms donned in their Civil War win against Oregon State Dec. 4.

People tend to love or hate the Ducks' uniforms, and I'm definitely in the pro camp. As they wear a different arrangement every game seemingly, they tend to have several candidates for props, but the carbons were my favorite so far this season.

White jersey and socks, a carbon fiber-patterned helmet and silver cleats. Top shelf.

Not sure what they're wearing for the BCS Championship, but I'm sure Nike will bust out something crazy.

Cool Uniform Props: Tampa Bay creamsicles

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers seem to roll the franchise's original creamsicle uniforms out once a year now, as they did a couple weeks ago against Atlanta, but they should make it permanent.

Tampa may have won a Super Bowl in the current pewter and red uniforms, but they are lame and the orange, red and white creamsicles rule.

Watch and wait

Even if this Blade Runner replicant continues to freak me out, I dig the If we don't, remember me tumblr blog, which posts cinemagraphs of little moments in films.

Some of the animations are pretty subtle, and some take a few seconds, so keep watching. And yes, some are a little freaky.

IWDRM has a Twitter page too.

Fakin' the Criterion funk

Fake Criterions — fairly self-explanatory.

Most of these are really good, and I'm wondering if some were inspired by artwork on existing Criterions or not as some feel familiar. So, I guess some explanation would be helpful.

So as to avoid confusion, this one's not a fake.


UPDATE: More fake Criterion case art can be found as part of the Dec. 10 "Photoshop Phriday" at Something Awful, including the outstanding example below by HMC.

I ride around town on my road-racing bicycle

Because I like to get things done in a timely fashion, I've finished posting my photos from this year's TD Bank Philadelphia International Cycling Championship over here.

Arsenal victorious

Arsenal might have had a brutal loss to Tottenham yesterday, but it will always win this commercial for EA's FIFA 11, if you know what I mean.

The above is the Euro version of the long-form commercial, a slightly different cut than the U.S. version. I guess the U.S. audience was deemed too sensitive to view the BetClic sponsorship on the Juventus uniforms.

Good to see my boy Mesut Ozil, playing for Germany here, getting some props. And funny to see Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech without his trademark noggin protector — I actually missed him the first few times I watched it.

The commercial was directed by Johnny Green for Wieden + Kennedy, Amsterdam.

If the McGlynns can keep from passing out by 9:30 p.m. (I kid, but not really), I may be checking this game out with Tim soon.

[Previously]